Foreign Oil Dependency Plummets .00000001 Percent
< http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2003/04/02/financial0315EST0017.DTL&nl=fix >
SUVs, vans and pickup trucks will have to get better gas mileage over the next three years under new and incredibly lame-assed and insultingly pathetic government standards which are basically big sloppy wet kiss to automakers from oil-drunk BushCo. The new rule, announced by the NHTSA, requires "light truck" manufacturers to attain an average of 22.2 mpg beginning with the 2007 models, an increase of 1.5 mpg over current requirements, oh my GOD how ever will those poor automakers do it, a staggering and whopping 1.5 mpg, hey wow just watch our dependent on foreign oil plummet after that bad-boy law takes effect IN FOUR YEARS, you know? Automakers said the new rule will be difficult to achieve technologically. "We're committed to it, but it is going to be a challenge," Eron Shosteck, a spokesman for the Alliance of Automobile Manufacturers, actually had the nerve to say, stifling a laugh, as behind him cadres of heavily drunk rich auto execs laughed aloud and licked each other on the forehead and peed on each other to mark their territory and shook their heads in utter disbelief at how stupid most people are and at how glorious are the days of BushCo where they can basically maul the nation and burn all the oil they want and make you think SUVs are somehow cool or the slightest bit manly or necessary or safe. "We are kings among men! We are gods! Kiss my corporate ass! We smite thee and spit and enjoy daily 10W-30 motor oil enemas! Ha ha suckers!" Shosteck did not add. "Waggle waggle froom!"