GASPIG CONVOY Rough Draft...
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I wanted to get this posted - it's pretty rough and doesn't entirely follow the written lyrics. Still, I think it's pretty funny. Let me know what you think.

"Convoy" was a popular song in the 70s when CB radios were the hot item. It's about a convoy of trucks that gets on a roll and can't be stopped by the police. It builds to a thousand trucks crossing the USA and crashing every barricade the police set up.

"Convoy 2000", written by The Pig, is about today's truckers. Its 2002 and CBs are out. But trucks are in vogue, 10-4. This shopping convoy builds to a thousand family trucks and there's nothing the tree huggers can do to stop it.

CB CHATTER:

“Yeah, Breaker 19 this here's the Hog, Yucon you got your ears on?

Ah yeah 10-4 gaspig fer sure fer sure by golly on a B-line to the Galleria, come on.

That's a big 10-4 good buddy. I got an eyeball on your Expedition and I'm 4x4

Ah roger that Navigator, not a hugger in sight, mercy sakes alive looks like we got us a convoy!”

NARRATION:

It was hot and hazy in a metro town, the sun was blistering tar.

Gray sky blowin in a Smog Alert and you can't see very far.

She was headed to the mall on the boulevard bout a mile out of Rumson town.

I said gaspig this here's a Expedition I'm about to put the hammer down.

CHORUS:

Cause we got a luxury convoy, rollin on into town

Yeah we got gaspig convoy gonna make the air a little bit brown

Come on and join our convoy, there ain't nothin that the world can say

We're gonna roll this shoppin convoy cross the USA

Convoy......... convoy

“Got a breaker gaspig this here's the Mountaineer and ah you wanna roll on up I-405?

10-4 roger about five miles or so ten roger got a sig-alert and it's getting intense up here.”

By the time we got to Newport town we had 85 trucks and all.

But there's a buncha tree huggers in pesky sedans and they were blockin our way to the mall.

Yeah them huggers were thick like the bugs on a bumper and the pace was beginning to choke,

I said callin all trucks this here's the Pig and we're about to kick up some smoke.

Cause we got a luxury convoy, rollin on into town

Yeah we got gaspig convoy gonna make the air a little bit brown

Come on and join our convoy, there ain't nothin that the world can say

We're gonna roll this shoppin convoy cross the USA

Convoy......... convoy

“Ah you wanna give me a 10-5 mpg on that there gas pig?

Negatory – Land Rover your rhino package is half a grand and you're getting 9-12 at best.”

Well we rolled up interstate 405 in a blatant disregard

Troopers Explorers and Escalades, leather bucket seats filled with lard

By the time we got to downtown them huggers was getting smart

They brought in fuel efficient machines like aerodynamic art.

There was hybrids electrics n station wagons and hydro powered sedans

With hot performance and a lower CG, but to me they're a buncha tin cans.

Well we shot the line and we went for broke with a thousand family trucks

Cause the earth is nice, but we're rollin the dice and we're hopin for some luck 10-4

“Uh yeah, breaker breaker this here's Avalanche I think I may have picked up a civic back there, come on.

Ah for sure for sure good buddy and there ain't much of it left. You're carryin some on the grill 10 roger, but its bound to fall off real soon.”

We were Yucons Suburbans n giant Sequoias, 4 Runners and all a them trucks.

Sierras n Rams n F-250s all rollin with a mocha Starbucks.

Well them huggers were buzzin and zoomin around like flies in the eyes of a cow

And when we hit the corner 40 trucks rolled over, but we ain't gonna stop right now.

I said callin all trucks, this here's the hog put the peddle to the medal and go

An they can eat my fumes cause we need the room, I say let them truckers roll. 10-4!

Cause we got a mighty convoy, rockin to your town

Yeah we got guzzling convoy gonna make the air a whole lot brown

Come on and join our convoy, there ain't nothin that the world can say

We're gonna roll this shoppin convoy cross the USA

Convoy......... convoy